Depression's Prisoner

An inkling slithers from beneath.
Tis always after feeling fine
A subtle weaving through her toes
A substance that is thick as slime.

Refuses to accept she does
that darkness isnt far away.
A hue of charcoal looms above
"You're mine now child" she hears it say.

Flat on the ground, her face in mud
She feels a heavy weight
Upon her back, She cannot move
She is the feast upon his plate.

Always hungry, full of greed
He feeds upon her fear
He munches anger, spits out love
And from her peephole falls a tear.

She knows what next she should expect
A tugging on her ankle bone
And right on cue appears it does
And down he pulls her to his zone.

Oppressive is the journey down
His slime is pasted on her skin
Her red hot face is quenched with chills
At this late stage it's clear He'll win.

This mock canal of birth spits out
Her limp and lifeless constitution.
But still her freedom is not hers
And she can think of no solution.

For days and weeks she lives in darkness
Drowning in despair
And yet each day she allocates
some precious time for prayer.

She pleads with God to save her
He's the only one who can.
She reaches out into the darkness
And feels Him take her hand.

Awe

I’m standing very still
And listening very hard
To chromatics in the breeze
And harmonics in the trees.

My world, it seems ok.
In fact, it’s pretty good.
There is no other being,
From whom I should be fleeing.

It’s just me, the breeze and I,
Who live each day in awe.
In awe of setting scents at twilight.
Colours melting into midnight.

The tips of twisted trees are tickled,
Branches flex and quiver
And bend towards the teasing light.
They lean and stretch with all their might.

Inflated is my swollen soul,
Suspended at an altitude.
So high up in the stratosphere,
I soon forget why I am here.

And then I realise my role
I swiftly learn my purpose
I'm filled with fizzy thanks and praise
My neck extends and up I gaze

I thank the Lord that I am here!
And beam from my two temples.
My moments with my Saviour,
Are lifetimes with my Saviour.

Treasure Hunt

I have a way of coping.
I pull my head apart.
I want to try explaining,
But.
I don’t know where to start.

Perhaps I’ll draw a picture.
To accompany these words.
But,
I’m afraid I’ll purge it all at once,
Like a startled flock of birds.

When you get an image,
That you don’t want in your head.
Do you let it take control of you?
Or cut it up instead?

Imagine that this image,
Is a grotty patchwork quilt.
Completely multicoloured,
And hanging limp with guilt.

Now each small square upon this quilt,
Represents a different slice,
Of this image/vision/memory,
Be it horrible or nice.

So let’s take a certain image,
Which I witnessed recently.
I grab the horsy by its mane,
And chuck it in the sea.

Another portion is a feeling.
I think it is disgust.
I lock it in a filthy cellar
And leave it there to rust.

If you look inside a post box,
Sicky feelings you will find.
That’s where I chose to hide them,
I hope the postman doesn’t mind.

Gross sensations crawled on me,
Until I hid them too
I hate it when they find me,
When I haven’t got a clue.

Although there are more fragments,
I think you understand
The reason for my treasure hunt.
I hope you understand.

The Alphabet Fairies

They steal them word by word
And as they do they sing
So quiet they can't be heard
Each word they steal, it stings

Tap tap tap upon my head
They hammer through the night
And choose the best words for their bag
They do it out of spite

Because they know I like them
(the long words in my mind)
They spit the short ones out like phlegm
They say they're being kind

It is not kindness they possess
But something more malicious
They eat them when I'm feeling stressed
And tell me they're delicious

Make it stop.

There is no air, I cannot breathe
I’m trapped, I am contained.
It’s getting hot. My skin, it burns
The torture is maintained.

Thirty billion trillion minutes
Pass like snails on dope.
The longer I am locked away
I lose my grip on hope.

Beads of sweat escape my body
Heading for somewhere cooler.
They have no idea that when they’re out
They'll meet the evil Ruler.

The Ruler, Master, King of pain
Dictates and orders men
To punish, maim and violate
The creatures, and the children.

Those poor and helpless animals
Were helpless, injured, weak.
I tried to save their fragile bodies
But the bad men came for me.

Each inch of me wanted to scream and scream
To cry and scream ‘till I broke.
But that was forbidden, not at all allowed
If I did, I’d regret it, I’d choke.


No more words now
I am weak, I admit .
I need to escape from this stash of deep shit.

The Circle of Broken Trust

The wind stirs up the leaves below
They sing their haunting tune
They twist, they turn and form a ring
And dance beneath the moon.

The children know no different
As they wail with hands held high
They pray to Gods they're told exist
And despite their fear, can't cry.

For crying causes great distress
The tears, they make Him MAD
Each salty droplet shed that night
Commenses all things bad.

These bad things make them want to die
The torture is too much
They're hung from branches way up high
And men then come to touch.

Each time the men abuse the trust
The child begins to vanish
Her soul gives up and leaves this life
The life to which it's banished.

A new nest this poor soul does find
To find some time to heal
Each day, each hurt is locked away
Until one day she's real.

Blood

C'mon, just a bit deeper
Red silky blood, I wanna keep her.
Why hide beneath those layers of sin?
Come, share your beauty, we wanna see ya.

Drip by drip each drip getting louder.
Transforming grey tiles into a vibrant red sea.

Why so numb? I wanna feel ya.

Clean new blades producing raw flesh
The flesh which craves revelation.

Such wasted beauty under such public ugliness.

Red, blood red.

Hypnotises me
Mesmorises me
Captivates my addiction.

Mary Mary

Mary Mary quite contrary
had a chest which was quite hairy.
Every night the hair grew thicker
and she knew no man would pick her.

Then one day she found a cream
which guarenteed the hairs would cease.
But life just ain't that kind to Mary
who woke up with excessive grease.

Depression Demon

Natalie wishes to be full of glee
but that would mean that she has to dump ME!
I have no plans to sod off just yet
i am her irriatating criticle pet.

I pester her day after day and at night
and strive to deprive her from glimpses of light.
For i have decided that darkness must stay
and sneakily place obstacles right in her way.

She must not progress,
she must not get well.
I don't want to die now
I wont go to hell.

Too Risky

If I were to share the secrets
And let the people see,
I think that the world will end.
And all because of me.

For in my mind there lies great strength
And it is not the good kind.
If just one word escapes which shouldnt
The world might just unwind.

This is a risk I cannot take
It really is a fear.
My love for those upon this earth
Is something I hold dear.

Tick Tock

The ticking of the clock
Is counting down each hour
For as the seconds pass
I'm losing all my power.

Nearer to the darkness
As minutes disappear.
I'm being called, it's very loud.
The message is quite clear.

Brain Disturbance

I'm trying very hard
To push the thoughts away
They're loud, so very loud
They're with me every day.

If I'm very quiet
And sit here very still
Do you suppose I'll soon forget it's him I want to kill?

Fleeing

Inside my head it's not that nice
It's filled with nasty noise
It's hard to find distractions
Not even with loud toys.

I must not make a single sound
For screaming makes it worse
I close my eyes and keep real quiet
Despite how much it hurts.

Seconds, minutes, hours pass
And in this time I flee
I transform into different people
I am no longer me.

These people are extremely different
They go to different places
The best thing is it's so much quieter
Despite so many faces.

Hopping thoughts....

Whilst hopping on one foot,
I had a charming notion.
Would mixing snot and soot
create a deadly potion?

Wandering into Oblivion

I wandered lonely as a cloud

and saw a bottle standing proud
It was some Whiskey, thats for sure
I heard it shouting

"POUR POUR POUR!"

So naturally I did obey
And with it came a price to pay
So now I lay here nice and drunk
Resembling a scentless skunk.

Living a Death

Stillness offers me no rest,
For whilst my body is motionless,
my mind is racing,
spiralling counter-clockwise
downwards into my core.

Never in this world can there be such contrast
as that which exists within me.

A body so lifeless and limp
that one would mistake it for the dead.
Unconscious and detached from this world.
Lingering over the boundary into the afterlife.

And yet there is so much energy
stirring up the sands of the mind inside that shell.
An energy unwelcome and hostile.

Welcome enough, however
to rent out a portion of that troubled mind to death itself.

Ache

Am I not worthy of a single thought?

It seems I am either plagued with many or abandoned with none.

How must it feel to have one solitary moment inside one's head?

Perhaps, comfortable companionship?

Or might one's heart feel so content that it would sigh, as you do when embraced?

Aching with perfume...

Oh how I long for that ache.
It is a foreign existence.
One which I rarely keep long enough to understand.